Living Las Vegas

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Roads from the Ashes: An Odyssey in Real Life on the Virtual Frontier, by Megan Edwards

To the River: Road Trip to Laughlin

If it gets too hot in the city, head for the waterfront, right? Yeah! Because it’s even hotter! That’s what I found out when I headed out to “the river” last weekend. I motored down to Laughlin, to be precise, on a mission to meet friends for dinner at the Gourmet Room at Don Laughlin’s Riverside Resort.

Maybe I should have known better, but I was surprised that temperatures on the Colorado River regularly beat those in Las Vegas by at least ten degrees.

It’s a little more humid, too, thanks to all that lovely water ripping by. Quickly deciding I’d do my outdoor exploration after dark, I hotfooted it across the parking lot and slipped gratefully into the refrigerated interior of the Riverside Resort.

As my eyes adjusted to the dim lighting and a cloak of stale tobacco enveloped me, I felt as though I’d stepped back to the Las Vegas of, oh, 1975 or so. As I meandered through the slot machines to the check-in desk, I soon realized I would have fit in far better if I’d been wearing a Spandex tank top and a tight denim miniskirt. A couple of large tattoos wouldn’t have hurt, either. I also needed a boyfriend with a shaved head, baggy shorts, and a serious tan.

After obtaining a room — no problem even though the hotel was officially “sold out” — I headed for the elevators. In the tiled hallway in front of them I joined a veritable throng of people waiting. Two young men with shaved heads and baggy shorts were carrying a giant cooler that was obviously filled with something heavy. A boy with a shaved head and baggy shorts had something in his mouth that made his teeth flash in three colors. A woman in a Spandex top and a tight denim miniskirt was pushing two babies in a double-wide stroller. The elevators labored slowly, the crowd grew, and I had to wait for three cars before I could get a ride to the seventh floor.

But hey, my room had a view of the river, and once I turned the television on, I could barely hear the baby crying in the room next door. I checked the schematic map of the hotel and discovered that the Gourmet Room was on the second floor.

After another ride on the elevator, this time with a sweaty blond family, I emerged on the second floor and headed into the restaurant. I pretty much stopped dead the minute I got past the reservations desk. The room, which is longer than a tennis court, has one whole wall of solid glass at least fifteen feet high. The river was coursing by below, and on the other side, a jet was coming in for a landing. My timing was perfect, too. It was just getting ready to be sunset.

Dinner in the Gourmet Room was nothing less than memorable. In a style that would ensure any restaurant lots of repeat business, a waiter in a tuxedo took our orders and served us a multi-course meal that included not one, but two dishes he set on fire. The first was a spinach salad with a flambéed dressing, and the other was that excellent invention, cherries jubilee. In between, we feasted on some quite excellent chateaubriand. And while we were eating, lightning from a distant thunderstorm lit up the mountains on the other side of the river.

The next morning, I did a little exploring outside before the pavement reached shoe-melting temperature. I watched the water taxi zip back and forth between the riverbanks, and saw how easy it is to rent a Sea-Doo. I also saw how quickly sunburn occurs, and I realized that, for all its appeal, I will have to admire the Colorado River from afar. Or better yet, from the windows of the Gourmet Room, with cherries jubilee on the way.

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