The show “Avenue Q” is famous for its puppet nudity and songs like “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist,” and “The Internet is for Porn.” It’s funny but most people recognize at least a grain of truth in that last one.

But when I use the internet it’s usually to be educated and find information and news, rather than nudes (not that there’s anything wrong with that). So I was really happy to find this post by Dan Coleman on openculture.com: 10 Power Tools for Lifelong Learners.

Free courses from major universities, audiobooks, music, foreign language lessons, free movies online… the list goes on and on. There’s enough there to educate yourself for a lifetime. Thanks, Dan!

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A few years ago I started listening to the radio through the internet. There was a scattering of interesting stations available, although I remember thinking it could be better. This afternoon, after ignoring internet radio for a while, I opened up iTunes and looked at the number of stations available now: over 2,500 ranging from news and talk radio to sports to country to classical to various kinds of rock, popular, oldies, eclectic and electronic music. (An aside: forty years ago, “electronic music” was avant garde and barely represented in the music stores. Today, because of personal computers, almost anyone can make electronic music. And they do. Fortunately, it is also much more listenable.)

Usually, the “Golden Age of Radio” is counted from the 1920′s when radio became popular, to about the 1950′s when TV started to become America’s favorite pastime. Back then, there would only have been a handful of radio stations available to the average listener, due to the limitation of signal strength.

But 2,500 stations! Right now, in your own home! Sounds like a Golden Age to me.

At least, until the TV networks figure out how to do the same thing.

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Today, matey, is Talk Like a Pirate Day. So blow me down and swab the decks, already!

(Sigh) Okay, although I really like the idea, it turns out I am horrible at talking like a pirate. Whenever I try, it usually comes out more like a bad imitation of a New York accent. So as an homage I present the accompanying picture. In addition, I’ve been playing “Sid Meier’s Pirates!” on my brand new 24-inch screen iMac computer. It’s a nostalgic game for me because “Pirates!” was one of the first games I bought for my Macintosh SE back in the day. (That’s such a wonderfully current phrase. I never used to say “back in the day” back in the day.)

Avast! Ye scurvy... oh, whatever
Photo by Michael H. Dickman

It’s almost like I have a time machine. Strangely enough, that segues into another recent leisure activity of mine: watching old “Doctor Who” episodes. Not the really old ones, but the “new” Doctor Who episodes that started in 2005. They’re available online at the iTunes store for two bucks a show. One of them even had Sarah Jane Smith and K9 for a double dose of nostalgia. No Tom Baker, though.

If those last lines made sense to you then you’re probably an old Doctor Who fan. If not, then, um… Swab the decks! Hard to starport and flubber the fo’scle! Or something like that.

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I’m a dyed-in-the-wool Mac user, so for me to admit that Microsoft might have done something right could shock people who know me. But when I compare Google with Bing, Microsoft’s new entry into the search-engine world, I have to admit that Bing comes out looking good. Whether it stands for “But It’s Not Google” or “Bing Is Not Google,” Bing makes Google look old and artery-clogged. Searching with Bing I found newer, more relevant sites more often, compared with a Google search.

I’m not usually a fan of Microsoft products but Bing has earned a place on my Firefox Bookmarks Toolbar. Don’t take my word for it — do your own comparison.

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I just found a website that has been around for a while: Common Errors in English. If your writing bad heres the rite place by far and away, just between you and I, to nip it in the butt!

Seriously, this site should be in every writer’s bookmarks, if only for the entertainment value. Beginning writers should read through the list at a comfortable pace. Even seasoned scribes have questions about usage sometimes. Paul Brians’ comments are succinct and enlightening. (Out of respect for the author, I did not use the form “Brians’s.”) There’s also a book available, if you prefer reading a hard copy. Highly recommended.

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There aren’t many cities in the United States where it’s easy to live without driving a car. Las Vegas is definitely not one of them. Having moved here from Germany recently I had no valid US driver’s license, so I started my quest for a Nevada driver’s license. In the past, I’ve had an Ohio license, a California license, and a Virginia license, but none of those mattered. My most recent one, from Virginia, had expired several years ago. Since I had no US license I had to take a written test, an eye test, and a driving test. But wait, there’s more! First stop was the Social Security office because a quirk in the Nevada rules requires people to bring their Social Security card to the DMV. Perhaps because of this the Social Security office, located just south of West Charleston Boulevard at 1250 S. Buffalo Drive, is very efficient. Taking a certified copy of my birth certificate and my passport (luckily, I had those readily available) and having filled out the application I downloaded (from here), I applied for a copy of my Social Security card. I know I used to have one, but only Xurg, the God of Things You Need On Rare Occasion, knows where it is now. In less than an hour at the office, even though it was packed with roughly half the population of an average Nevada town, I walked out with two eight-and-a-half by eleven pieces of paper proclaiming to anyone who cared those magical nine numbers the government uses to keep tabs on certain aspects of my life. I was also promised they’d send me a replacement card in the mail; but I was assured that the DMV would give props to the papers in the meantime.

Next stop, the Henderson DMV located at the corner of Stephanie and American Pacific Drive. For some reason the parking lot of this DMV is just a bit too small, guaranteeing that you’ll drive around for ten minutes looking for a space. Once inside the DMV I stood in line to get a number, and then I sat down to wait for my number to come up on an easily visible overhead display. Then I talked to one of the many workers there, confirmed that I’d have to take the written test, and was directed to the appropriate office, where I was invited to sit down at a computer to take the test. It’s actually not written at all, it’s poked, using your finger, on the computer screen. But I declined to take the test just then because I decided it might be wise to first read the handbook explaining the laws. That took me ten or fifteen minutes. Maybe I should have taken a bit longer, because I failed the written (or rather, poked) test by one question. You’re allowed to miss ten questions out of fifty and my eleventh wrong answer was question 49. I had to go back the next day because you’re not allowed to take the poked test more than once per day. The second time I took the test I passed easily. Then it was on to the driving test! Except I had to make an appointment and the earliest date open was a month later.

(A month passes) Hello again! Time to drive around the parking lot of the DMV looking for a space… oh, wow, there’s a car pulling out right in front of the door! Great. Now let’s make sure we have everything we need. Car registration? Check. Proof of insurance? Check. Passport? Check. Certified copy of birth certificate? Check. Two eight-and-a-half by eleven pages from the Social Security office stating authoritatively what my Social Security number is? Check. Turn signals working? Check. Brake lights functional? Check. Horn able to make noise? Check. Seat belts working, window able to open, passenger seat present? Check. And they really do check those things. Finally, on to the actual test. Pull out, get on the street, turn left at the light, turn left again, stop at the stop signs…

Now, everybody knows that when you are taking the driving test, you come to a full stop behind the stop sign, and use turn signals well in advance of a change in direction. Everybody also knows that nobody ever actually drives like that. But no matter, as long as you know that’s how you are supposed to drive, and you dutifully do it during the exam. Because if you don’t, you won’t pass. Other things you can do during the test to automatically fail: get in an accident that’s your fault; go over the speed limit in a school zone; or use a cell phone (“Hi! Just wanted to let you know I’m taking my driving test!”).

I passed the test. After all, I’ve been driving for 40 years and only had one accident, when I was 18, and I swear it wasn’t my fault. Afterward, driving back from the Henderson DMV, observing the driving behavior of those around me and feeling a bit smug, I thought that having to take a driving test might be something that everyone should do every ten years or so. Just to remind people how they are supposed to drive.

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If you’re looking for exciting chess games full of important theoretical novelties, look no further!! And I mean that literally, don’t bother reading the rest of this post. On the other hand, if you’re looking for the games I played in the 2009 National Open held in Las Vegas at the South Point Spa and Casino on June 4-6, you’re in the right place.

I have not added many annotations. In some cases I’ve used Sigma Chess 6.1 on my Macintosh to analyze the position. Please add comments if you see something I missed!

Round 1
Carl Johnnson (2273) vs. M. Dickman (unrated)
King’s Indian Defense
Four Pawns Attack

1. d4 Nf6 2. c4 g6 3. Nc3 Bg7 4. e4 O–O 5. f4 d6 6. Nf3 c5 7. d5 e6 8. Be2 exd5 9. cxd5 Re8 10. e5 dxe5 11. fxe5 Ng4 12. e6 fxe6 13. d6
Sacrificing a pawn to impede Black’s development.
13. … Nc6?! (Bd7) 14. O–O Nge5 15. Ne4 Rf8 16. Bg5 Qb6 17. Qd2 Bd7 18. Nxe5 Nxe5 19. Nf6+ Bxf6 20. Bxf6 Rxf6
Otherwise the bishop is overpowering.
21. Rxf6 c4+ 22. Kh1 Rf8?

Black could have held out longer with 22. … Nd3 23. Bxd3 Qxd6 24. Raf1 cxd3 25. Qh6 Qe7 26. Rf7 Qxf7 27. Rxf7 Kxf7 28. Qxh7+ Ke8! but after 29. Qxg6+ (29. Qg8+ Ke7 30. Qxa8? d2 and black might even win) Ke7 30. Qxd3, white’s kingside pawns should prevail.
23. Rxf8 Kxf8 24. Qf4+ Nf7 25. Rf1 1–0

Round 2
M. Dickman vs. Paul Meyer (2146)
Center Counter

1. e4 d5 2. exd5 Qxd5 3. Nc3 Qa5 4. d4 Nf6 5. Bd2 c6
Here John Emms, in The Scandinavian 2nd edition (2004, Everyman Chess Series), recommends 5. … Bg4, which could also be played on the next move.
6. Bc4 Bf5 7. Nd5 Qd8 8. Nxf6 gxf6 9. Bf4 Nd7 10. Nf3 Nb6 11. Bb3 Nd5 12. Bg3 e6 13. O–O Bd6 14. Re1 Bxg3 15. hxg3 Qd6 16. c4 Nc7 17. Nh4?!
17. Qd2 was more flexible.
17. … Bg6 18. d5?!
Prematurely resolving the tension in the center. After this, black is equal. 18. Qd2 was still better.
18. … O–O–O 19. dxc6 Qxc6 20. Qf3 Qxf3 21. gxf3?
21. Nxf3 was better as it was more important to keep black’s rook off the second rank than to trade the knight for the bishop. Now black gets an advantage.
21. … Rd2 22. Nxg6 hxg6 23. Rab1 Na6 24. Red1 Rhd8 25. Kf1 Nc5 26. Rxd2
Or 26. Ke1 Nxb3 27. axb3 R2d3.
26. … Rxd2 27. Ke1 Nxb3 28. axb3 Rd3 29. f4 Rxb3 30. Kd2 Kc7 31. Kc2 Rf3 32. Rf1 e5 33. fxe5 fxe5 34. Kd2 a5 35. Kc1 f6 36. Kd2 Kc6 37. Ke2 Rb3 38. Rb1 a4 39. Kd2 e4 40. g4
Here, at the time control, I had 90 seconds left. And while I’m making excuses, I also had tendinitis in my right elbow from attempting to grate coconut a week earlier, a food-related injury.
40. … Kc5 41. Kc2 Kxc4 42. Ra1 b5 43. Re1 f5 44. gxf5 gxf5 45. Rh1 Rf3 46. Rh2 b4 47. Rg2 a3 48. bxa3 bxa3 49. Rh2 Rb3 50. Rh8 Rb2+ 51. Kc1 Rxf2 0–1

Round 3
Michael Lucente (2061) vs. M. Dickman
Queen’s Pawn Opening

1. d4 Nf6 2. Bg5 c5 3. dxc5 Qa5+ 4. Qd2 Qxc5 5. Nc3 d6 6. e4
Transposing into a Sicilian.
6. … Nbd7 7. O–O–O h6 8. Be3 Qa5 9. Kb1 a6 10. f4 b5 11. Be2 Bb7 12. Bf3 e5 13. g3 Be7 14. Nge2 O–O 15. Nd5 Qd8 16. Nxe7 Qxe7 17. Qxd6 Qxd6 18. Rxd6 exf4 19. Nxf4?! (gxf4) Ne5 20. Bg2 Nc4 21. Rd3 Bxe4 22. Bxe4 Nxe4 23. Bd4 Kh7(?)
In about an equal position but short of time, I begin to lose my way.
24. b3 Na5(?) (Ncd6) 25. Rf1 Nc6 26. Bb2 f6
Here I had 3.5 minutes to reach move 40.
27. Ne6 Rf7 28. Re1 Ng5 29. Nc5 Re7? 30. Rxe7 Nxe7 31. Rd7 Ng8 32. h4 Nf3 33. Ne6 Re8 34. Nxg7 Re1 35. Bc1 Re7 1–0 Black lost on time. A possible continuation would be 36. Rxe7 Nxe7 37. Ne6 Nd5 38. c4 bxc4 39. bxc4 and white’s passed pawn is very dangerous.

Round 4
Tony Pabon (1800) vs. M. Dickman
King’s Indian Defense
Sämisch variation

1. d4 Nf6 2. c4 g6 3. Nc3 Bg2 4. e4 O–O 5. f3 Nc6 6. Be3 Re8 7. Bd3 e5 8. d5 Nb4?!
I intended to play Nd4 but had a mental lapse.
9. Nge2 d6 10. O–O c5 11. a3 Na6 12. Nb5 b6 13. Bc2 Nc7 14. Nxc7 Qxc7 15. Ba4 Rf8 16. Bc6 Rb8 17. Qa4 Nh5 18. Nc3 a6 19. Rab1 f5 20. b4 f4 21. Bf2 g5 22. bxc5 bxc5 23. Rxb8 Qxb8 24. Rb1 Qc7 25. Qb3 g4 26. Ne2 Bf6 27. Bb7 gxf3 28. Bxc8 Rxc8 29. Qxf3 Ng7 30. Qb3 Be7 31. Qb7 Qd8 32. Rb3 Ra8 33. Kf1 Qe8 34. Ng1 Qd8 35. Nf3 Qe8 36. Be1 Kf8 37. Bc3 Bf6 38. Qc6 Be7 39. Ba5 Rb8 40. Qxe8+ Rxe8 41. Bc7 Ra8 42. Rb6 Ne8 43. Bb8 Kf7 44. Rb7 Kf8 45. g3 fxg3 46. hxg3 h6 47. Nh4 Bxh4 48. gxh4 h5
Sealing off the white king’s entryway on the kingside.
49. Ke2 a5 50. a4 Kg8 51. Ba7 (Rb6) Kf8 52. Bb6 Ra6 53. Bd8 Ra8 54. Be7+ Kg8 55. Bg4 Kf8 56. Bd2 Kg8 57. Rb5 Kf8 58. Rxa5 Rxa5 59. Bxa5 Ke7 60. Kd3 Kd7 61. Bd2 Kc7 62. Bg5 Kb7 63. Kc3 Ka6 64. Bd8 Ng7 65. Kb3 Ne8 66. a5 Kb7 67. Ka4 Ka6 68. Be7 Kb7 69. Bg5 Ka6 70. Be7 Kb7 71. Bg5 Ka6 72. Bd8 Ng7 73. Be7 Ne8 74. Bf8 Kb7 75. Kb5 Nc7+ 76. Ka4 Ne8
White can make no progress and a draw was agreed on move 85.

Round 5
M. Dickman vs. James C. Little (1760)
Sicilian Defense
Wing Gambit Declined

1. e4 c5 2. b4 b6 3. Bc4?! Bb7 4. d3 Nc6?! (e6) 5. b5 Ne5 6. Bd5 Qc7 7. Bxb7 Qxb7 8. Bb2 d6 9. f4 Ng6 10. Qf3 Nf6 11. c4 e6 12. Nc3 h6 13. Nge2 Be7 14. O–O O–O 15. a4 Rfd8 16. g4 Rf8 17. Qg3 Rad8 18. h4 h5 19. g5 Ng4 20. f5 N6e5 21. f6 gxf6 22. gxf6 Kh7 23. fxe7 Qxe7 24. Kh1 Rg8
White has won a piece but the opening of the g file was embarrassing because of the alignment of white’s king and queen. Also the knight on g4 is a thorn in white’s kingside.
25. Qh3 Nxd3! 26. Nd1
The only move to avoid immediate catastrophe.
26. … Nxb2 27. Nxb2 Rfd8 28. Nf4 f5 29. exf5 Rxf5 30. Ndb3 Kh6 31. Ng2 Qf6 32. Ne3 Rxf1 1–0 Black lost on time. After 33. Rxf1 Qd4 my chess program continues 34. Rf3 Rg6 35. Nf4 Nxe3 36. Nxg6 Qd1 37. Kh2 Ng4+ 38. Kg3 Qe1+ 39. Kg2 Kxg6 40. Qg3 Qd2+ 41. Kg1 Qd1+ 42. Kg2 Qxa4 43. Qxd6 Qc2+ 44. Kh3 Nf2+ 45. Rxf2 Qxf2 46. Qxe6+ Qf6 47. Qe8+ Kg7 48. Qe4 Qd6 49. Qf5 Qg6 50. Qf4 and the position looks drawish.

Round 6
Robert Tanner (2084) vs. M. Dickman
Sicilian Defense
Rossolimo Variation

1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 Nc6 3. Bb5 g6 4. Bxc6 dxc6 5. O–O Bg7 6. d3 Nf6 7. c3 O–O 8. Bf4 Nh5 9. Be3 b6 10. Qc2 e5 11. Nbd2 Qe7 12. d4 cxd4 13. cxd4 exd4 14. Bxd4 c5 15. Bxg7 Nxg7 16. Rfe1 Bb7 17. Nf1 Rfd8 18. N3d2 Ne6 19. f3 Rd7 (Nd4) 20. Nb3 Rad8 21. Red1 Nd4 22. Nxd4 Rxd4 23. Rxd4 Rxd4 24. Rd1 Qd7 25. Ne3 Rxd1 26. Qxd1 Qxd1 27. Nxd1 f6 28. Kf2 Kf7 29. Ke3 Ke6 30. f4 Bc6 31. g4 g5 32. Nf2 Ke7 33. Nh3 h6 34. Nf2 Bd7 35. h3 Be8 36. Nd1 Ke6 37. Nc3 Bc6 38. a3 a5 39. Ne2
Intending Ng3 -f5.
39. … Be8(?) (Kd6 and Bd7, or Bb5 to be able to play Bf1, are better plans) 40. Ng3 Kd7 41. Nf5 h5 42. Ng7 hxg4 43. Nxe8 Kxe8 44. hxg4 gxf4 45. Kxf4 b5 46. e5 Kf7 47. Ke4 b4 48. exf6 c4 49. a4 c3 50. bxc3 bxc3 51. Kd3 c2 52. Kxc2 Kxf6 53. Kc3 Kg5 54. Kc4 Kxg4 55. Kb5 Kf5 56. Kxa5 Ke6 57. Kb6 1–0

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Photo by Megan Edwards
Shaking hands before the last round

The 2009 National Open ended last Sunday and the results are here. Grandmaster Varuzhan Akobian and International Master Enrico Manalili Sevillano (both of California) shared first place with five points out of six, to earn a prize of $4641 each. The top-rated (2734) GM Loek van Wely from the Netherlands drew his last-round game with GM Giorgi Kacheishvili from Georgia (the country, not the state) to tie for third through fourteenth with a host of other grandmasters (and three IMs).

And me? After losing once again Saturday morning I drew a long game on Saturday night which lasted so late that I had to go to sleep immediately on getting home so I could get up for the 10 a.m. round on Sunday. Then I won my fifth round game when my opponent ran out of time in a tense position; it looked like he had me on the ropes but perhaps the outcome would have been a draw if his clock hadn’t run out. My last-round game looked even but I was outplayed in the endgame. So my final score was 1.5 out of six. Not great, but all the opponents who beat me said I played well for an unrated. Unfortunately, it wasn’t good enough to beat them!

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