The Stratosphere Tower is nothing new. It opened in 1996, which makes it practically a senior citizen in Las Vegas years (which are sort of like dog years, only more so). I moved here in 1999, but I happened to be passing through in 1995, when maybe 200 of the tower’s eventual 1,149 feet had risen from the north end of the Strip.
It was obvious from the size of the base that the tower was going to be a monster, but something looked disturbingly wrong about the construction project. To my admittedly untrained eyes, it looked bent and lopsided. Right then and there, I said to myself, “I don’t care how terrific the view will be. I will never go up in that thing.”

On another trip through town, I read in the paper that the original designs had been modified, and the tower was going to be even taller than planned. Sure enough, when I drove by the construction site, it was obvious that more concrete had been slapped onto the base. My eyes were still untrained, but those big cold joints did nothing to increase my confidence in the tower’s safety.

When I moved here, I discovered I wasn’t alone in my distrust of the Stratosphere’s engineering and construction. Other people had noticed the underpinnings before they got evened out and covered over in a nice smooth veneer. They, too, had never taken the elevator ride to the top.

But hey, I said to myself the other day. The Stratosphere is still standing, and, if local news coverage can be trusted (which is a whole other topic), no pieces of it have ever fallen off. I myself have checked for large cracks in the base and found none. It’s high time, I cajoled myself into believing, to get the heck up there, try out the food in the revolving restaurant, and check out the views from the various observation decks. The Stratosphere is the tallest building west of the Mississippi, after all. In height, it beats out the Eiffel Tower, Seattle’s Space Needle, and the Tower of the Americas in San Antonio. In addition, I’ve been using it as an orientation device since I moved here. When you can see the Stratosphere, you’re never lost. And, unless the smog is really bad, you can always see the Stratosphere. At night, the beam from the Luxor pyramid’s point joins it to identify the north and south ends of the Strip from anywhere in the valley.

I was heartened to find that the restaurant at the top of the tower gets good reviews from a number of reputable sources. Still skeptical that gourmet food might be served in a spike-shaped tourist trap, I decided to have lunch there instead of a pricier dinner. I also liked the idea of checking out the 360-degree view in daylight. Night is beautiful, I already knew from enjoying the view from the Voodoo Lounge at the Rio and the ghostbar at the Palms, but daytime is far better for spying with binoculars into people’s backyards.

There are three good things about eating in the revolving restaurant. First of all, you don’t have to pay extra to ride up in the elevator (which is also a much speedier and pleasant journey than I expected). Second, the view from the tables next to the windows is fantastic, and the windows are clean enough to allow for good photographs. Third, although the food is only okay, they serve some great desserts, including a model of the tower constructed of dark chocolate and filled with chocolate mousse.

The restaurant floor had nearly finished its second revolution when I paid my bill (you can have lunch with dessert for $25 or so), and headed out to check out the other attractions housed in the Stratosphere’s aerie. These include a couple of observation decks with excellent views, but it was actually easier to take good pictures in the breeze-free interior of the restaurant. The tower’s big draws are, of course, its three thrill rides, High Roller, Big Shot, and XScream. High Roller, “the world’s highest roller coaster,” winds around the top of the tower in a spiral. Big Shot shoots people up a pole at the top, and XScream dangles them over the side in a see-saw contraption. The elevator was enough of a thrill ride for me, though, and I can report only my observations of the other attractions. High Roller, in spite of being a thousand feet off the ground, is not very scary, and costs $4 a ride. Big Shot and XScream are scary, and they cost $8 apiece. Jumping off the edge is free, but it’s a challenge to evade the security patrol and climb over all the barricades. Oh, and you die. As an alternative, you can get married in the “Chapel in the Clouds” wedding venue.

After scouting out the gift shops, which offer a remarkably wide selection of phallic mementos, I stepped back into the elevator. My ears popped twice as I descended, the same as on the way up. The Hawaiian elevator operator bade me aloha, and I stepped back into life on earth. The most amazing thing about my whole experience is that I liked it. I might even go up there again someday. It’s a great way to show newcomers the vast glory of the new Las Vegas and with a little luck, they might even live to tell about it.