Most humans – and, for that matter, most dogs I’ve known – jump at the chance of getting a massage. The laying on of capable hands satisfies some deep need and results in luxurious nirvana. While “luxurious nirvana” is a state that transcends geography, there’s no denying that people come to Las Vegas in search of it. Relaxation and pleasure are two leading reasons to head for southern Nevada, and a massage can provide both. It can also, of course, be a precursor to the third leading reason people come here. I mean, we all – wink, wink, nudge, nudge – know what a back rub can lead to.

Which brings me to my topic: massage in Las Vegas.

For insider info about massage therapy in Sin City, I spoke with Susan Stone of Hired Hands Massage and Skin Care. Stone, who began her career in Michigan under the tutelage of Irene Gauthier, moved to Las Vegas in 1990. In the two decades she’s been practicing here, she has seen the city explode from a dusty town with a strip of desert-themed casinos into a world-renowned gambling mecca with advanced urban sprawl.

The massage industry has changed in that time, too. As things stand now, massage therapists are licensed by the state of Nevada and, depending on where they work and what services they provide, they must acquire various local licenses as well. Back in 1990 things were different. “You had to appear in front of the Board of Massage Examiners – a couple of older male massage therapists,” Stone remembers. “They asked a few questions, but it was really a test to see if you were a prostitute.”

There it was – the issue I’d been wondering about but hadn’t really wanted to broach. I’m a huge fan of therapeutic massage. I respect and appreciate those who are skilled in its practice, and the last thing I want to do is suggest that I’m a member of the group that assumes that massage therapists are closet hookers. But that group exists, doesn’t it? Especially here in the home of “What happens here, stays here?”

“Sure, there are those who ask if I’ll give a ‘Vegas massage,’ although things have gotten better over the years,” Stone said, recalling some exchanges she had with male clients back in the Clinton years. That was when guys would try to redefine what “sex” meant in the hopes of getting a little something extra from a massage therapist. There are still establishments in Las Vegas that advertise massage but really make their money selling other services; their specialty is the “happy ending.” It’s fairly easy to tell which are which, Stone said: Just look for a license, which by law must be displayed. Practitioners who can’t speak English are probably unlicensed, because the state exams are impossible to pass without fluency.

You can actually get a massage at a happy-ending parlor, but be prepared for a disappointment. Training in massage therapy is not the focus at such businesses, and the massage can be pretty inexpert. “I actually had one of the worst massages of my life in one of those places,” Stone told me with a laugh.

While I was talking with Stone, she took a call from a concierge at a hotel on the Strip. A guest needed a massage “on the casino floor.” Interesting, I thought: a shoulder rub while gambling. I inquired about other quintessentially Vegas massage settings.

“I gave massages during the World Series of Poker a few years ago,” Stone said. “That experience would have made a good story.” She wasn’t speaking idly – Stone used to write for newspapers and magazines when she lived in Michigan. In addition to poker tournaments, Stone has also worked conventions and sporting events. “I like the conventions,” she said. “Interesting people from all over.”

“What about celebrities?” I asked. While careful to preserve the privacy of her recognizable clients, Stone revealed that she counts top-level headline-grabbers, entertainers and producers among her patrons. “I also have lots of regulars who call when they come to town,” she said.

When Stone first arrived on the Vegas scene, rules were strict about where a therapist could operate: hotels, doctors’ offices and licensed gyms were the only permissible locations.

“I worked at the Sands on the Strip,” Stone said. “In 1990, the pay was $12 an hour. Now, massage therapists at Strip hotels make $50,000 to $100,000 a year.” While the earnings sound enticing, the jobs are difficult to come by and the work is challenging. “There are lots of massage schools in Las Vegas now, but it’s difficult to get a career started. There’s a high dropout rate,” Stone said. Training takes time, effort and money; moreover, when the time comes to look for a job or build a clientele, competition is fierce.

Although Stone still works in Strip hotels on an “out-call” basis, her practice is based in the offices of chiropractor Douglas Kuehl in Henderson. Also a licensed esthetician, Stone offers skin treatments, facials and waxing services in addition to massage. As for techniques, “I use a combination,” Stone said. “Swedish, acupressure, shiatsu, deep tissue, sports, pre-natal. I find out what my clients need – I ask about any recent accidents, surgery, medications. I sense with my hands, but I always say, ‘Feel free to tell me … ’.”

The whole time I was speaking with Stone, calls kept coming in on her cell phone. It’s clear that a large and active network of clients and referrers keeps her hands as busy as she chooses. I, too, am among those happily rubbed clients who always come back for more.

Note: The best way to find a massage therapist is through personal referral. I highly recommend Susan Stone. Please feel free to post your experiences and recommendations below.