Not all violent offenses are committed by experienced criminals with a plan. Many incidents occur when irrational, emotional, or maybe even inebriated individuals find someone who offers them an easy target for a violent encounter.

When it comes to potentially violent confrontations, there are often peaceful solutions or at least ways to give you an advantage. Here are three steps, illustrated with three slightly “corny” examples, by which I have shaped my opinions regarding confrontations.

Elevate yourself above the situation. In one of my favorite eighties flicks called “Road House,” starring the late Patrick Swayze, Swayze’s character was asked by a subordinate how they are supposed to behave when dealing with unruly subjects. He said, “Be nice until its time to not be nice.” Swayze then continued saying that a person who refuses to leave the bar should be forced to leave but when they lay hands on the subject, both bouncers should “be nice.” Swayze was explaining that a confrontation isn’t personal. And in reality, this is usually true.

Uncontrolled emotions are rarely helpful in violent encounter, so by getting a quick handle on your emotions you can clear the way for more rational thought on your part. An “emotional or narcissistic mess” will always have a significant disadvantage when confronting someone that’s calm and calculating. As a role model for this kind of calm, careful, measured response, look at sporting referees.

Talk your way into a peaceful solution.In “Enter the Dragon,” starring the late Bruce Lee, a supposed bully approached Lee challenging him to a fight. Lee told the bully they should fight on a nearby island, which had more space than the boat on which they currently stood. Once the bully stepped onto a smaller boat they were going to take over to the island, Lee allowed the boat to slide out into the water where the bully was isolated. Clouded by narcissism and emotion, the bully ended up wet and stranded in a tiny boat unsuitable to handle the deep ocean waters while his previous victims looked on in laughter.

Unbelievably, this played out in real life. While paying my way into a club on the Las Vegas strip, I saw someone was struggling against his friends trying to attack another male who ultimately said, “hey outside bro! Not around my girl!” The angry subject stepped outside, apparently followed by the other male. At the door, re-entry wasn’t allowed so the smarter male stopped inside telling the bouncers about the incident. The angry male realized he was outsmarted and attempted to charge towards his adversary through two bouncers. The bouncers were obviously from an island nation where the people are very large. The angry guy didn’t make it. He was ultimately dragged away, likely to the security office where there was a subsequent arrest. Although the angry male’s friends shouted a few remarks back inside the club, they didn’t want to suffer a similar fate and ultimately quieted themselves.

Place yourself in a position of advantage. Like many Kempo students, long ago I was forced to read a book called “Karate-Do My Way of Life,” by Gichin Funakoshi dubbed the father of modern Karate. In this example, Funakoshi talks of a day when he was making his way along a path and a snake was doing the same. When the two met, the snake felt threatened as did Funakoshi. The snake was uncoiled and in an open trail so it apparently slithered away. Moments later Funakoshi came across the same snake. It had not fled but retreated to an area advantageous for a strike.

If you can’t prevent a violent encounter, try placing yourself in an advantageous position. An example of this would be leaving a deserted sidewalk to enter an occupied business when a suspicious person is following you. Or placing your hand into your pocket or purse to get a grasp of your self-defense tool as you hurry to a lighted area where a violent encounter is more likely to be seen by potential witnesses.

Rewards of Violence
There are times when you either are forced or choose to fight someone antagonizing you. Another thing Patrick Swayze mentioned in “Road House” is, “no one wins a fight.” I subscribe to that belief, knowing that the only things I have won from violent encounters are: scarred knuckles, a wrist that still aches from when it was broken six years ago, and permanent scars on the side of my left eye and the back of my head when I was the recipient of what the boxing world calls, “southpaw killers.” Left-handed individuals like yours truly are susceptible to that overhand right-handed punch. I would have preferred that those encounters ended peacefully.

Anyone that has read my posts knows that I am a huge advocate of prevention over self-defense. However, there are times when a potentially violent confrontation is not avoidable. During those times, try using the steps above as a basis manipulating your way into either a peaceful or dominant situation. If you have a few methods of your own to accomplish this objective, please feel free to share.