If the dogs you own have dinner in aging dog bowls…..if your dog gets wet and you dry him or her with an old towel….if your dog never wears anything other than his or her fur coat….then I’m glad you didn’t attend last week’s tradeshow, “SuperZoo 2010”.

Superzoo isn’t for the pet owner. It’s a show for pet retailers. This year, they came to the Mandalay Bay Convention Center to visit some 700 exhibitors (a record number) and purchase items for their stores. The show floor featured every conceivable pet product.

Most of the exhibitors at SuperZoo 2010 noted that even amid recession, business has not suffered. Today’s pet owners are spending more time at home, and apparently, nothing is too good for Spot, Puff, Lizzy or Chirpy. This dog-owner, however, is now guilt-ridden.

How could my husband and I not supplement our dogs’ meals with Life Line Alaskan Salmon Oil or Organic Ocean Kelp? Why didn’t we replace our old stainless steel dog dishes with designer Wetnoz Studio Scoop dog bowls? And how in the world did we miss purchasing delicious bully stick dog treats made from 100 percent bull penis?

Do we take our dogs on a walk with a Supercollar that has a built-in leash? No. When we take the dog for a walk, do we wear a Walkie Belt that has compartments for unused and used poopie bags? No. Do we have special Towel Togs terrycloth robes for our dogs so that when they get wet they put on their robes and never again see one of the adults’ old towels? Of course not. Do we let our two small dogs sleep in Co-Sleeper doggie bunk beds? Are you kidding?

I’m making fun here because Superzoo retailers are nothing if not versatile and creative. In truth, however, I love this show. In one location, I can see everything available for our dogs, our neighbor’s cats and even the gerbil fanciers, bird lovers, snake-owners and parrot-keepers down the street. People walking the show floor seem happier than other convention-goers I’ve seen. And for that live-animal experience, many exhibitors show products with the animals they accommodate (fish in fish tanks, for example) and small reptiles, birds, etc. are on display in an area marked “Critter Alley”. Lots of cute dogs are here and there as well because the show also features animal-wear fashion shows and grooming competitions.

True, the show floor is crowded and noisy, so this year, SuperZoo offered exhibitors access to a private club for quiet conversation. However, when I passed the club, a nearby ballroom, it was empty.

Healthy eating seemed as much a pet as a people thing at the show. Natural products, supplements and even dog treats made from vegetables were on display. “Pegetables”, available at the major pet chains, has seen its business double year-to-year says Brand Sales Manager Glenn Oland. (I gave samples to my dogs and sure enough, the treats quickly disappeared.)

I was interested in talking with Jennifer Kitchen whose Doberman, Dobey, was in the habit of scarfing down dinner and then retreating to a nearby carpet and seeing dinner come up again. Kitchen invented a Brake-Fast dog bowl with simple obstructions (tiny columns) inside the bowl that force the dog to eat around the obstructions, rather than inhaling everything at once. To date the product is sold by 1000 U.S. retailers “and no, we haven’t noticed a downturn in business”, she said.

In the “get a life” category was a gift item for dog owners called Pup Casso (or Kitty Casso). For $19.95, a pet owner can have a piece of modern art created by their pet….without getting anybody dirty. As inventor Tammy Zaiko explained, the kit comes with several paint colors, a canvas, a piece of plastic and a cardboard frame. Squirt dobs of paint on the canvas; cover it with the plastic. Ask the pet to walk on the plastic, thereby spreading the paint around in distinctive designs; remove the plastic and voila! A piece of art by Spot or Puff is then put in a frame to astound the neighbors.

And finally, one part of the show floor was labeled Rodeo Drive. That’s where the pet retailer came for high-end dog beds, spectacular duds and Paris-Hilton-type carriers for fancy pets. I saw the perfect couch for my two small beagles. And how much is that soft, low-to-the-ground comfy couch? “Probably $200 retail.” Oooh.

Still contemplating how much our pets are really worth to us, this reporter finally left the show. A small crowd had gathered in the hallway. They were surrounding Jen Arnold and Bill Klein, TLC reality stars of a cable program called “The Little Couple.” She is a neonatologist at Texas Children’s Hospital in Houston and he has a sales, training and communications business in New York. I’ve seen their program and have been quite fascinated. They appear to be a lovely smart couple leading very fulfilled lives in spite of some physical issues. As I stuck my camera amid the crowd, a man (whom I later was told was Arnold’s father) called to Arnold to turn toward me. His daughter, all 3 feet something and 50-some pounds, flashed her big smile and asked, “Do you want a picture?” I nodded “Yes”, and she smiled again. Talk about lighting up a room! I asked whether she and her husband were making an appearance at the show. “No, we are thinking of opening a Houston, TX pet store with my father and we’re here to see the show,” she said. Arnold’s parents were beaming. Nice people.

“Enjoy the show,” I said as I left.

I knew they would.