Almost two months ago, my husband Paul Friedman, died of a massive stroke. Since that time, lots of people have asked how I am doing.

At my husband’s age (and mine), we had discussed life’s events and were somewhat prepared. We had prepaid cremation services, and God love Paul, he had shopped the sales and bought items in large batches. I won’t have to worry about toilet paper, paper towels or dog food for months. Otherwise, my new life has meant I’m busy, fortunately, too busy to be depressed.

My brother Roger helped me clean out closets and drawers and designate what of Paul’s worldly goods should go where…some to Salvation Army, some to Roger (a perfect fit), some to his brother Burt, some saved for a garage sale. Roger also found me a buyer for Paul’s car and drove that car to the buyer in Kansas City. Could I have asked for more? Not really.

I called the State Farm people when Roger told me the car buyer now had his own insurance on the car. Two days later I received an $80 check from State Farm, a refund on the car insurance we had paid in advance. Two days after that I received a bill from State Farm for $127 because now that I didn’t have a two-car discount I owed them money. State Farm has a sense of humor.

The folks at Social Security willingly took my application for Paul’s $255 death benefit via a phone appointment. Except….well, because when we married I kept my own name, I now would have to drive to Social Security with a marriage certificate. I did that and Social Security lost or mis-filed the copy. Yesterday I made an “emergency” return trip to Social Security with my “I hope you don’t lose this one” facial expression firmly in place.

Paul handled a number of thngs around the house that are now my responsibility. I’ll need help with “the thing” that filters the drinking water and the bags of salt that apparently soften water, but folks have offered to teach me what I need to know. Paul also paid the bills which I am now finding much larger and more frequent than I had imagined. Big house: big ++++++ bills.

I followed up with my dentist to cover the “hole” in my mouth resulting from a pulled tooth a couple months ago. The bridge was installed, but the bridge area hurt. I have since had a two-part root canal (through the bridge) and need just one more dental visit to have a filling applied. The pain is gone, but a good deal of the money I received for Paul’s car is now financing the education of several dentists’ children.

My morning routine includes walking the dogs (if I’m up early enough). I then water the container plants, retrieve the newspaper (or call that I didn’t get a newspaper because the deliverer abandoned his route). I then have fresh fruit and coffee. I have hired a pool man. One morning, the pool turned green. Rio had nothing on me. The pool man made an emergency visit; the problem seems to have been solved, fingers crossed.

The Toyota folks sent me a brochure which reminded me I needed to find out how to take care of my own car. (Paul kept track of the car servicing.) With a neighbor’s help and help from our friend Tom I found out that the Toyota needs to go to the shop for an oil change. I’m going to play the “widow” card with those folks because frankly, I know nothing about cars. “Will that big smart man help out this new widow, please?”

Paul was always the one to make sure the dogs had water and were fed regularly; I hear his reminders in my head. I am also turning off lights as he would have done in between remembering what day is trash day and what days I must unlock the gate for the pool man and the landscapers. Also I must call Pablo. Vinnie usually trims the palm trees but because of illness he has only been able to do half the job. Hopefully Pablo can finish before the HOA starts writing letters. And about my cataracts…is it time?

Really, all this means that I have a schedule most days and can’t really lay around and feel sorry for myself. Fortunately, I and some of my Las Vegas friends like to go out on the town for entertainment so the evenings are reasonably full as well. I haven’t missed many Monday nights at the Bootlegger, Wednesday nights at the Tuscany, and other nights seeing everyone from Kenny Davidson, Martin Kaye, Jimmy Hopper, Gordie Brown, Earl Turner and Clint Holmes (twice). (Any visitor to Las Vegas gets an invitation from me for Clint Holmes’ show at the Palazzo.)

Then there are my writing assignments which keep me out of trouble. I can’t say much about “why” I recently saw a rehearsal of the Las Vegas Mass choir, but the joy this gospel group exhibited and sang about did my heart good. I made a short video of the choir in its rockin’ mode.

I also recently attended a Board Meeting of the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority. The LVCVA is doing well –- record visitation, 42-million-plus visitors last year and up 1.6% so far this year. The Board gave a hefty increase to its President/CEO Rossi Ralenkotter who missed out on salary increases during the recession years. LVCVA also proudly announced, with lion dancers in front of the meeting room, that Hainan Airlines would be initiating twice-a-week non-stop service from Beijing to Las Vegas starting in December. This would be the first non-stop service to Las Vegas from mainland China and had been an LVCVA goal for several years. LVCVA meetings are open to the public.

Haircuts, shopping, manicures, a bit of gambling and occasional Netflix hours have filled in the blanks.

So friends, don’t worry about me. I’m not a young widow with with school-age children facing the loss of a paycheck. Life has evolved in rather normal ways; we made it to the Autumn of our years. Now, I’m supposed to learn a new life. The new life is not as comfortable as the old, but it’s happening. Our dogs have given me more love than I deserve, and I have lots of Paul’s pictures and memories to remind me of the good man I knew. Only when I think about Paul as he was around the house do I get choked up. But then it’s time to re-package the QVC products that need to be returned, to answer those annoying survey or carpet-cleaning phone calls and to go to the bank and apply for new bank cards.

About the new life? I hope Paul would approve.