Cardi B and Me

The album cover of Cardi B’s hit song, Bodak Yellow, nominated for Rap Song of the Year.

Lately I’ve been doing a lot of research on a performer named Cardi B. I kept seeing her name on TMZ and wondered who the heck she was..

Come to find out, Cardi B is a rap artist with lots of grammy nominations and a hit record/video that’s been downloaded 700 million times. Impressive.

Cardi B is a also a gorgeous 26-year-old with lovely light brown skin, lushious lips, a generous chest and hair that can be black, brown, blonde or red – depending on the day. She wears nails that are longer than Streisand’s, and she’s married to another rap artist named Offset. The couple is currently separated and have a daughter named Culture. Daddy Offset has the name Culture tattooed in large letters on his face. Cardi B was raised in a poor section of the Bronx, New York. Before her rap career, she danced in New York at a place called called Club Lust.

My friends are asking why I am “wasting my time” learning about a rap artist? Because, friends, not long ago a commenter on one of my videos on YouTube said something about not wanting a tour of the Las Vegas strip led by a Grandma. I am not technically a grandma, but I got his point. I am apparently too old to be “with it”, but am I? So I thought I’d spend time with Cardi B.

Cardi B must LOVE doing album covers.

Incidentally, Cardi B is quite beautiful and she poses for lots of pictures. One of her “hot photos” has her hands pushing up her barely covered boobs and her tongue hanging out. I tried that myself, having first lifted my sagging chest and pushing the cleavage together and then sticking out my tongue. I started laughing so hard my startled dogs woke up wondering just what was going on. Guess they haven’t heard me laugh like that often.

I’ve tried listening to Cardi’s hit rap song, “Bodak Yellow,” and frankly, I couldn’t understand much of it. It may be about no longer needing a dance career, but I’m not sure. Yet the other night I saw Cardi B in a carpool karaoke segment with talk-show-host James Corden, and he knew all the words to her song. Amazing.

Incidentally, Google tells me these lyrics have been translated into 36 languages.

Cardi B in full dress.

Here are the first three stanzas of Cardi B’s Grammy nominated Rap Song “Bodak Yellow”:

Hah, it’s Cardi, ayy
Said, “I’m the s___, they can’t f___ with me if they wanted to”
“I don’t gotta dance”

Said, “Lil b____, you can’t f___ with me if you wanted to” (ooh)
These expensive, these is red bottoms, these is bloody shoes (ooh)
Hit the store, I can get ’em both, I don’t wanna choose (bah)
And I’m quick, cut a n____ off, so don’t get comfortable, look (ooh)

I don’t dance now, I make money moves (wave, ayy)
Say I don’t gotta dance, I make money move (ooh, ooh)
If I see you and I don’t speak, that means I don’t f____ with you (ah)
I’m a boss, you a worker, b____, I make bloody moves (bags)

And so on….

Of course now I’m supposed to say, “That language! My Lord, what is this world coming to?”

Yep, I am shocked (and confused), but….

I remember that same “What is this world coming to” expression from 50 years ago. My friends and I were listening to and watching young Elvis Presley. His words weren’t the problem; it was the hips. They moved in a suggestive manner that had seldom been seen outside a bedroom. Elvis’s hips meant to 1950s Grandmas the ruination of my generation.

Well, my generation wasn’t ruined. In fact, we’re still listening to Elvis and all the other Elvises he has spawned.

And then there was Tom Jones – he was a sexy guy and a hoot. I don’t remember parents or grandparents getting excited about him – Maybe , secretly, they LIKED him.

So the generations will survive the folks who will ruin us. As for music, I think eventually Michael Buble and Bruno Mars will outpace the rap folks for music that finds itself into the American Song Book.

In the meantime, I wish Cardi B well. Google says she’s a community college dropout, so maybe in the next 50 years she will find time to return to school and improve the words and messages she gives the world.

Yes, despite the words and deeds of rap artists, the folks who listen to rap will survive.

Take it from Grandma.


3 responses on “Cardi B and Me

  1. And, you have confirmed that rap music isn’t for me, unless some of Bruno Mars songs fit in (“Uptown Funk”, perhaps, but I like Earl Turner’s version).
    Good for Cardi B, but I’ stick with Michael Buble, et al.

  2. Rap is poetry, the cadence doesn’t always seem lyrical (at least to me). This was an interesting article.

  3. You may have a elder rap video song in you wanting to come out. I will help with the spelling and mispronunciation.

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