I know many sports fans are lonely these days, but I have lots of sports to view – and we’re not talking re-runs.
My sport is wrestling and I happen to live with two excellent wrestlers, Piccolo the Bruiser and King Kong Kelly.
Not only are their matches live, they are raw as well – real raw — no trunks. However, these rowdy guys move so fast, nothing much is viewable. Besides, most wrestlers leave little to the imagination anyway.
Tonight is the big fight, the Shutdown Smackdown. It’s a pay-per-view event (lunch for the wrestlers) and is sponsored by the Worldwide Family Room Wrestling Federation (WFRWF, pronounced “wffffr”). Prizes will include Pet ‘n Shape Chic’n Hide Twists, the wrestlers’ favorite. And guess what? The famous Al Bernstein has almost volunteered to do an instant analysis.
The stand is sold out, and on the side, wait a minute…we see a wrestling legend!
Let’s give a big welcome to The Great Sandy who only dabbles in wrestling these days, but shows she’s still got great technique and can dominate a match if she has a mind to.
After the wrestlers have had a long nap, they will warm up and be ready to go.
Now you might think wrestling is fake and frankly, that opinion may have merit. You will hear lots of snorts and see lots of teeth bared, but in the end nobody seems to get hurt. These athletes are real pros.
Look at the clock. It’s almost fight time.
The wrestlers are getting ready. They’ve been stretching and yawning.
I think both wrestlers will credit their outstanding physical shapes to the duck couple who have been visiting the backyard swimming pool for the past five years. Those ducks come and the wrestlers decide to exercise like crazy, running around the pool, making noises, until the ducks decide to find a real lake. The exercise does wonders for the wrestlers, strengthening their dogceps.
Now it’s time. King Kong and the Bruiser enter the ring with….get this…no handlers and oh my gosh, no referee! But not to worry, the fan in the stand can make a fair decision.
Let the match begin!