My Middle Name Should Be: “Buys-a-lot”

The lady with the new middle name..

I don’t have a middle name, but it could be “Buys-a-Lot”.

When my husband died several years ago, I laughed as I discovered he had bought so any paper towels that I wouldn’t have to replenish the supply for at least three years.

And now…

I find I am doing the same thing. Why? I could blame Sam’s Club and their large quantities. I could blame Amazon, too, for not being explicit in some product descriptions. I once needed a box of paperclips and ended up with 24 boxes. I didn’t have enough needy friends to give away all those clips.

And then again, maybe it’s my memory. I forget where I store some things and when I go to use the “last” tube. of toothpaste, for example, I think I need more. I go to Sam’s club — buy 12 tubes so I won’t run out soon again, come home and suddenly find I already had 16 tubes stored in the laundry room. The “s” word comes to mind.

I also. occasionally order “auto-ship” products on one of the shopping channels, decide I’m not crazy about the product but forget I ordered “Auto-ship; and get another shipment, keep it, forget again, get another shipment and THEN decide to cancel auto-ship. I am a regular donor to Salvation Army.

OR I do like the product but don’t use it as frequently as the manufacturer suggests. The auto-ship products arrive and stack up…until I wake up and delay a shipment or two or three. I ordered big bags of dog food on auto-ship and suddenly had so much dog food I almost had to adopt two more dogs.

Or with the coffee k-cups I was down to the last k-cups in the box and quick went to Amazon to order another big box. A day later another box showed up. I guess I was on auto-ship, all the time and didn’t realize it. Wanna stop by for a cup of coffee? I have plenty.

I hadn’t had a cold for quite a while, though the sniffles just arrived. During my last cold I ran out of Kleenex. Ever since then I have been buying Kleenex, I have enough for the sniffles and for years to come. My late husband would be cheering.

And yes, I have a lot of paper towels and toilet paper, too. During early Covid, when everyone was buying toilet paper I had plenty. However when I went to CVS and saw they had gotten in a big shipment of toilet paper, guess what? I bought more.

I sometimes wonder just who will be the person who visits my home after I die and sees everything I own. They will wonder about me. Why all the Kleenex; did she stuff her bra with them? She must’ve drunk LOTS of coffee; yet she took naps.. And how many times of day did she brush her teeth?

Well, I don’t over-indulge with alcohol and I’m pretty good to my dogs. So I’m not so bad…just forgetful. I’m rather glad I don’t have children, however. When they would visit they, too, would wonder if their mother was getting a bit dotty. On the other hand, they could also pack their bags with lots of Kleenex, toilet paper, paper towels and toothpaste for the ride home.

Problem is: I’d probably buy more.


5 responses on “My Middle Name Should Be: “Buys-a-lot”

  1. It’s great to know I have a friend that I can rely on for all of my personal hygiene needs!

    Great article, and I can relate about the toilet paper and paper towels!

  2. . Ron does the same thing with the toilet paper and also with laundry detergent! Loved the story.

  3. Wouldn’t mind you sending some of your “overstock” my way.
    You’re not alone. I do tend to be the same way; just on bathroom tissues, paper towels and napkins, though.

  4. Guess the buying stuff in quantities and not remembering that one did is a human experience…especially as one gets a bit longer in the tooth. We now have a years supply of paper napkins…compliments of my husband, and I have 16 bags of organic banana chips, 12 cans of wild caught tuna and about 20 new pairs of undies still rolled up and taped. I hope to live long enough to wash and use the undies. The tuna and chips will be gone by Christmas. Just stay healthy enough to use your supplies!

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