Living in Las Vegas can make you a savvy, okay, spoiled table, slots or sports gambler. What passes for casinos outside of Vegas is sometimes shocking, but it makes coming back to the neon oasis all the more sweet!
I recently took a cruise to Mexico on Carnival Cruises. At first it seemed like a huge ship with cubby-holes of entertainment around every corner. But after about one day at sea, the huge ship got a lot smaller and some of the entertainment options started growing a little thin. I looked forward to the next day calendar of events that magically appeared every evening in our cabin (along with a nifty towel sculpture!) but the bingo, slot and blackjack tournaments were seriously flawed compared to what Las Vegas casinos offer.
I suspect some of the casino policies were simply leveraging the fact that they enjoyed a captive audience. But the casino experience on-board Carnival left me appreciating our often maligned Nevada Gaming Commission all the more.
The most egregious gaming scam I noticed was that the slot and blackjack tournaments each only had one winner. One fixed amount first place winner with no second, third or fourth place prizes no matter how many people paid the $20 entry fees. Almost nine hundred people entered the blackjack tournament so that’s a take of almost $18,000 for one $500 winner. Imagine if a casino tried to advertise something like that here in Vegas! Can anybody else hear the crickets and the rustle of sagebrush through the aisles? Station Casinos currently has a free (no entry fee) $30,000 slot tournament going on and the Eastside Cannery is hosting a (free) $20,000 slot tournament from September 24-27 with five daily prizes and cash prizes to the top forty (40) finishers.
Needless to say, as a savvy dude, I entered neither tournament. My advice is the same in Vegas and away from Vegas – if you’re in a casino and aren’t feeling it or don’t like the odds, don’t play, keep your money in your pocket.
Without a doubt, there is more to do on a cruise than sit in a casino, especially if you already live in Las Vegas and that is exactly my point. But even for those not lucky enough to live in the neon capital of the world, there is more to do on a cruise than sit in a casino, especially when the drinks are NOT free, they don’t honor match play coupons if you got the “wrong receipt” from your favorite bartender and one bingo card is $20 for a top prize of $500 when two hundred or more people are playing each game (you can do the math, right?)
Now I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy our cruise to Mexico because the house rules inside the on-board casino were crappy. P.T. Barnum was right, “there’s a sucker born every minute” and no doubt some of that human gullibility built our fair city out here in the Mojave. No, on the contrary, it made me appreciate the relatively fair deal bingo, slot and blackjack tournaments are here in Vegas. And it made me raise a glass in toast and gratitude to the Nevada Gaming Commission that watches, at least in part, over our gaming industry.
To me, the cruise was about the ocean and seeing the Milky Way galaxy from the bow of the ship at midnight with my wife. It was about bargaining with rabid vendors along the way to La Bufidora during a shore excursion outside of Ensenada. It was about taking the time to gain a different perspective. I loved the pineapple monkey head fruit juice and alcohol concoctions available poolside and in the lounges. The endless lobster and tiger shrimp entrees, chocolate melting pie and guava mango pineapple juice were all terrific. The walrus was my favorite folded towel art, but I’m sorry, I forgot to take a picture of it.
So here’s the swan, my second favorite, instead.
All in all, you know you love where you live when you drive back into town and love what you see. Even though we exited off the I-15 at St. Rose Parkway and I got voted down 3 to 1 for driving straight to the “Welcome to Las Vegas” sign, the familiar Vegas skyline made me glad to be back home.
That and the fact that I nailed a nice three-team parlay while we were gone!
NFL Week #3 picks: (the match-ups this week are crazy tough!)
Colts +2
Jets -2 1/2
Packers -6 1/2
Last week: 3-1
Season-to-date: 3-1
Keep your bankroll tight and growing!
The towel art is a funny side of cruising. I’ve been on one cruise — the Alaskan Inside Passage, but it’s not my idea of rest and relaxation — too much water under the hull… But I enjoyed your take on the rip-off nature of cruise ship gambling.
Good advice: “keep your money in your pocket.”
Haven’t been on a cruise, but after reading your report, don’t think I will. I’ll take Las Vegas instead.
Nice write-up.
If I ever take a cruise, I will remember to avoid the casinos! Thank you for the honesty.
Took a Carnival cruise once and had a good time. The casino was okay, but like you say, it ain’t Vegas. It ain’t even Blackhawk Colorado, in fact. I did like the food, though. I gained five pounds in french fries alone.